I'm still quietly judging you.

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Summer afternoon— summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.

- Henry James

Fisticuffs is when you tell me who would win in a knockdown, dragout, physical fight to the death between two people or groups.

Today's pairing is The Grimace  VS. Snuffleupagus

The Grimace, Ronald Macdonald's gelatinous amorphous blob friend who appears to be missing anything resembling a central nervous system, locked in mortal combat against Snuffleupagus, the tusk-less wooly mammoth that burst through imaginary veils to become real to the adults on Sesame Street.

Two beasts enter, only one will leave! Plead your case in the comments below!

MK12 | Follow the Sun | 2011 from MK12 on Vimeo.

MK12 made this slice of nightmare fuel - enjoy!

(Via The Daily What)

Success in the modern age is marked by two things: oversaturation and inevitable backlash. As something is recognized as being good or entertaining or lucrative, then many lampreys suddenly attach themselves to the underbelly of the main success. They ape the creative talent, the marketing, the pitch, the layout, the look, the hook. Catchphrases are spun out and apparel is adorned with recognizable images from the successful venture. Late night talk shows and morning zoo crews make lazy references and inept impressions of the successful venture. Everyone clings to the successful venture - pushing it into more markets and spinning it in novel - if ridiculously unnecessary - ways.

Then, when the last branded bar of soap or hollow script for the TV spin off rolls off the assembly line - the backlash begins. In fairness, it is not the successful venture that people are angry about; it's the constant reminder of the successful venture. The endless hype and pimping and cross-promoting and synergizing and Halloween costumes and frat boy imitations. The neverending loop of YouTube parodies coupled with the hours of proselytizing by fans that need you to "get it." It's all of the ephemera surrounding the successful venture that causes this backlash; the resentment of enduring all of these unoriginal interruptions that smack less of the fun and unique property and more of the soulless and derivative cashcow that it became.

Sometimes the creators of the successful venture buy into the hype - and so they get torn down with it in the Backlash Phase. Sometimes the sales figures for new revenue streams or diversified audience shares are so enticing that creators and their corporate barons willingly sacrifice the successful venture. Who knows when the next hit will come, so everyone pile on this thing now! Everyone releases their version of a remake of an 80s cartoon with scores made up of repetitive bellowing of deep bass notes, presented with the poster in blue and orange, and the making-of-featurette with untrained celebutantes boasting of the integration of the latest CGI trickery into this "ride" - all while pimping the tie-in to the specific fast food chain and soon-to-be-forgotten pop music group. That original spark, the successful venture that forged something new and exposed people's interests to the harsh light of capitalism, becomes awash in its descendants, indistinguishable to most people's hate, and relies on nerds to argue for its exclusion from the pack.

But what does this all have to do with graphic sex on film? The answer...might surprise you.

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I woke up and thought it would be a better world if there existed a video that combined the song "Are You Ready for the Summer?" sung by children in the movie Meatballs with scenes of brutal murders from the Friday the 13th series of films.

And Crispin Glover dancing like a spaz.

This is the life I chose.

Today's word of the day is Drastic:

Via Pleated Jeans

(Via FilmDrunk)

True story: after a night of reverie in the town of Philadelphia, I pretty much broke down and summarized Demolition Man for my friends, scene by scene - from opening to closing credits. I have no idea why I know this movie so well, but if there is ever any cause for someone that knows a ridiculous amount of useless info about Demolition Man - you know where to find me.

Get your game on! Get Paid!

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That best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.

- William Wordsworth

(via Priscilla Gilman)

So...the first cast photo for the porn parody of cartoon American Dad has been released.

Michael Scott, your reaction?

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Double Dip Demands is a column in which I propose films that deserve a re-release on DVD/Blu-Ray with more special features, better transfers and other nerdy bits. Some of the films have no DVDs out there for Region 1 viewers, and some of them have a really crappy version that's bare bones or poorly put together. Who speaks for these films? I do.

The Film: The Wizard (1989)

Cast & Crew: Todd Holland (dir.), David Chisholm (writer); Fred Savage, Luke Edwards, Jenny Lewis

Plot Synopsis (via IMDB): A boy and his two friends run away from home and hitch cross country to compete in the ultimate video game championship.

Is It Currently Out? It is currently out on a bare-bones disc.

Why Does it Deserve Special Features? The Wizard is not a good movie. In fact, Ebert said that it was one of the worst films of 1989 (amongst other problems he had with it). The Wizard exists almost solely as a marketing tool for Nintendo and Universal - there's very little approaching artistic merit within its frames. So why should time and money be spent on this disc? The Wizard actually has a few things going for it. For starters - the movie has a high nostalgia factor for people who were kids at the time. It taps in to the excitement we felt as we read the latest Nintendo Power or hotly anticipated the next gimmicky piece of gaming equipment. Furthermore, The Wizard is one of the few times in movies when video game culture has taken the spotlight (however accurately) and it is one of the earliest films to grant some measure of credibility to this "passing fad" of video games. The crass commercialism, historical precedence, hokey plot and nostalgic sheen collide to form a wholly idiosyncratic film that is worth mockery and re-examination.

What Should Be on The Disc?

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They Might Be Giants cover ChumbaWumba's classic (?) song "Tubthumping:"

They Might Be Giants covers Chumbawamba

I voted for "Tubthumping" to be one of the songs on the list and still think it's actually a great song to cover. As the Johns Flansburgh & Linnell state, it has enough little parts that you can experiment with each one and the simplicity of the lyrics/song structure allows you a big enough sandbox to make your own impression. Also, expectations are so low that it's hard to not do something interesting - or, at least, pleasing.

They Might Be Giants' new album, Join Us, comes out in two weeks on July 19.

(as pointed out in the comments - check out the face of Dan Telfer - the lanky, bespectacled fellow in polo shirt with brown hair behind John Linnell - from 2:36 - 2:46)

Today's word of the day is Morbid:

Via 4GIFs

–adjective