Choose Your Adventure!

 

The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.

 

 

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Mass Distraction

Monkey See...

 

Deep Red

Monkey See (on TV)...


Childrens Hospital - On Adult Swim

 

Goonies the Musical!

 

Sloth's Song

Goonies the Musical!

 

Takin' It Back

Goonies the Musical!

 

Piano Lessons

Goonies the Musical!

 

Tubes

 

Entries from July 1, 2011 - July 31, 2011

Verbiage - July 18, 2011

Today's word of the day is Reckless:

reck·less

[rek-lis] 
–adjective
  1. utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless (usually followed by of ): to be reckless of danger. 
  2. characterized by or proceeding from such carelessness: reckless extravagance.

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Beat

Quotent Quotables - July 15, 2011

You assume we are all sexually stable; while on the other hand, as I have become acquainted with people, I find that they are all perverted sinners, one way or another, that the whole society is corrupt and rotten and repressed and unconscious that it exhibits its repression in various forms of social sadism.

- Allen Ginsberg

9 Funniest Harrison Ford Videos

Harrison Ford is still the man. Even though we're 2 weeks away from Cowboys & Aliens, I'm willing to say that he maintains his status as The Man even after that movie. Why? Because if it's good, that'll add to his mystique. And if it's terrible, it'll be another example of Ford's natural ability to be bulletproof. He's been in so many bad movies, but that doesn't stop the fact that we all really like him.

Hell, think of his good movies and you'll see they're made up of a small stable of mannerisms, tics, cliches and delivery.

And yet...we still love him.

We can't STOP loving him.

Here are 9 videos that both defy and define our love for the man the Japanese call "Shouty Punchy Family Lover."

9) Harrison Ford is Undead and/or the Highlander

8) Harrison Must Really Love His Son

Click to read more ...

Tag Team Edition: Hulk Hogan vs. Macho Man

Keith Doughty discusses songs, albums and artists that are unappreciated, unknown, and/or unfairly-maligned by the general public. This is Hidden Tracks.


Hulk Hogan - “Hulkster in Heaven”

I used to tear my shirt,
But now you've torn my hearts.
I knew you were a Hulkamaniac,
Right from the very start

I have no idea what set of circumstances led Hulk Hogan to release his 1995 album Hulk Rules. "Money" would be the obvious answer, but by 1995 Hogan should have already made lots of it from his lengthy wrestling career and various movie roles (the album did actually hit the top ten. . . . . children’s album chart).  I certainly hope it wasn’t for love of music, because the resulting album can barely be called music. It can, however, be called hilarious, particularly the penultimate track on the album “Hulkster in Heaven”.

Click to read more ...

Verbiage - July 15, 2011

Today's word of the day is Encompass:

en·com·pass

[en-kuhm-puhs] 

–verb (used with object)

  1. to form a circle about; encircle; surround: He built a moat to encompass the castle.
  2. to enclose; envelop: The folds of a great cloak encompassed her person.
  3. to include comprehensively: a work that encompasses the entire range of the world's religious beliefs.

I Thought My Chorus Was Cool When We Sang Beatles...

Here's the a capella choir version of Rammstein's "Du Hast" that you didn't know you wanted, but now you can't imagine living without:

(via Badass Digest)

Quotent Quotables - July 14, 2011

Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.

- Lily Tomlin

Verbiage - July 14, 2011

Today's word of the day is Frenetic:

fre·net·ic

[fruh-net-ik] 
–adjective
frantic;  frenzied.

 

He's the Dick Joke Surgeon Sacred Heart Deserves

...but not the one it needs right now.

 

Quotent Quotables - July 13, 2011

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

- Joseph Campbell

 

(via Priscilla Gilman)

The Oddities of Finding and Leaving a Job

I recently got a new job after being on the hunt for a little over a year. Damn you, flaccid economy!  It was a long process, all told, spanning eighteen interviews, countless reassessments of the happiness/salary/workplace correlation, and two very brief moments in history where I considered jobs I have historically deemed unsavory: retail and clowning. It was a long exhausting process that has, for now, come to an end.

This process is not a foreign one. Having recently entered my 30s, I have watched several friends in various age brackets wade through the troughs of gainful employment. I myself have held far too many jobs in what most HR professionals  would surely deem far too short a time span. There are many reasons for my fickle CV —new opportunities, new locations—but mostly the good old realization that I just don’t like what I do.  And I am not alone. The majority of people I know legitimately hate their jobs, resent their schedules and mutter curse-laden voodoo spells under their breath whenever their boss’s names are mentioned. They dream of breaking out, telling people off and fucking people over. Resignation becomes a semi-religious term; two-weeks’ notice the epicenter of the canon of the disgruntled.

We who hate our jobs are not a passive bunch by nature, with our manic dreams of freedom and machete-wielding revenge (metaphorical of course, Rambo), but we become passive and pliant on the surface, usually while silently plotting our escape, and usually after our spirits have been broken.

Yo. Wanna Hire Me?

Click to read more ...

You Choose My Fate

So Should this Site Keep Going? I think like 4 people read it. No comments.

I'll leave it in your hands. take the poll below. Hell, if there's more than 7 votes - we'll keep on rockin' & rollin'.

Verbiage - July 13, 2011

Today's word of the day is Unbridled:

un·bri·dled

[uhn-brahyd-ld] 

–adjective

not controlled or restrained: unbridled enthusiasm.