tagged 
Advice, Binaca, Cherry tomatoes, Help, Names, Relationships, Sadness, Salads, Tomato
Advice, Binaca, Cherry tomatoes, Help, Names, Relationships, Sadness, Salads, Tomato Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 4:00 PM
Ask the Ash-hole! Episode II
By Eryn Ashley On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 4:00PM
Eryn Ashley On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 4:00PM If you were a cherry tomato in a salad, how would you escape from the bowl to avoid being eaten?
- Hungry and Confused
Dear Hungry and Confused, first, I read this and I thought up a few genius things immediately, because that is what my genius mind is capable of: instant genius. Initial idea: toothpick pole vault. Second option: celery ramp, perhaps aided by a step up from a very helpful large floret of broccoli. Third item of brilliance: in-bowl protection by a thatch of potent red onion slivers, woven together to form a shield.
At least I'm not ketchup
But then I remembered that I hate cherry tomatoes. Do you ever notice how when you bite into a cherry tomato it resembles what it would probably feel like to bite into an inflamed eyeball? Or a small animal’s testicle? Or a Gusher? If I spot a cherry tomato in my salad I have to cut it in half and scoop out the guts, because the seeds and what I can now only imagine is grape-flavored testicular eyeball pus, are squirting into my mouth with every bite. And I don’t need to tell you all that is not a pleasurable experience (except in very small social circles in France).
So, really, what you’re asking me is a trick question. But I won’t be fooled! Oh no! Not this time, chica-boom! The real, true, honest to goodness and dollars to donuts truth, is that if I were a cherry tomato, I would suffer from extreme self hatred and my morose and disgusting self would wallow in a pool of shame and Italian dressing until someone took pity on me and stabbed me with a fork.
I Can Think of Worse Ways to Die...
I keep writing into advice columnists for help. Why won’t they answer?
- Believes In Needing A Correct Answer
Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 3:30 PM
Quotent Quotables - June 21, 2011
By Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 3:30PM
Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 3:30PM Self-plagiarism is style.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 1:15 PM
Today in Our Program, We Slap the Stupid Out of You
By Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 1:15PM
Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 1:15PM Act 5, "Wake the F*ck Up!" - in this act, This American Life host Ira Glass demands justice for The Onion and joins in the the growing movement to get a Pulitzer for America's Finest News Source. Stay with us...
(NSFW - unhinged public radio DJ language)
Shit is so Ira Glass....
Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 12:30 PM
Terriers
By Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 12:30PM
Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 12:30PM Double Dip Demands is a column in which I propose films that deserve a re-release on DVD/Blu-Ray with more special features, better transfers and other nerdy bits. Some of the films have no DVDs out there for Region 1 viewers, and some of them have a really crappy version that's bare bones or poorly put together. Who speaks for these films? I do.
Film: Terriers (2010 TV series)
Cast & Crew: Ted Griffin (Creator/Executive Producer), Shawn Ryan (Executive Producer); Donal Logue, Michael Raymond-James, Laura Allen
Plot Synopsis (via Wikipedia): Ex-cop and recovering alcoholic Hank Dolworth (Logue) partners with his best friend, former criminal Britt Pollack (Raymond-James) in an unlicensed private investigation business. The series is set in Ocean Beach, San Diego, California, although it is portrayed as a distinct town, Dolworth having been a member of the fictional "Ocean Beach Police Department".
Is It Out on DVD Currently?: Nope! There have been ominous suggestions that a major studio will release the DVDs - but so far nothing.
Why Does it Deserve to Have Special Features?: Firstly, the show deserves to be on disc. Thank the good Lord of the Nerds that I bought the first season on iTunes in a feeble and futile attempt at supporting the show/staving off the sting of cancellation. But it deserves to be released on disc with a bonanza of special features for a variety of reasons: 1) the show was amazing, was critically acclaimed and championed by every respected TV Critic; 2) it is over/cancelled - this is the only chance for fans to enjoy some more time with these characters/in this universe; 3) not a large audience, but a loyal one - if you make the discs amazing (but limited) then you'll make back your money and ensure that Terriers DVDs are given to relatives for all possible occasions. 4) Non-fans: for anyone that hasn't seen the show that does pick it up on disc, by having a great presentation with fun extras, you're enhancing the viewing experience which encourages the viewer to tell others about it. 5) Because I really really love this show and want these things, okay?
What Should Be on the Disc?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 11:00 AM
Verbiage - June 21, 2011
By Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 11:00AM
Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 11:00AM Today's word of the day is Conspicuous:
Via GIFbin
con·spic·u·ous
[kuh
n-spik-yoo-uhs] –adjective
- easily seen or noticed; readily visible or observable: a conspicuous error.
- attracting special attention, as by outstanding qualities or eccentricities: He was conspicuous by his booming laughter.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 9:30 AM
I Skate for Me! FOR MEEEEE!
By Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 9:30AM
Rob Dean On Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 9:30AM When I saw this footage, all I could think of was David Cross's bit about Gabriel, the defiantly patriotic rollerblader who took to the empty streets on September 12, 2001. So I made this video combining the footage with the most patriotic song ever:
Monday, June 20, 2011 at 5:00 PM
Zelda Convention - June 20, 2011
By Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 5:00PM
Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 5:00PM 
The season finale of AMC's The Killing aired last night, and thus making this image I created irrelevant for many months...
Monday, June 20, 2011 at 3:30 PM
Quotent Quotables - June 20, 2011
By Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 3:30PM
Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 3:30PM The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.
Monday, June 20, 2011 at 2:00 PM
Contradictions in the Debt Ceiling Negotiations
By Keith Doughty On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 2:00PM
Keith Doughty On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 2:00PM 
If you are following the debt ceiling talks (and really, who isn’t?) you might get the impression that things are at a complete stalemate. Republican leaders continue to insist that entitlement cuts are necessary for a deal to be made and Democratic leaders are equally insistent that they will not agree to significant Social Security or Medicare cuts. Similarly, Democratic leaders believe that tax revenue increases must be part of any deal but Republicans argue they will not agree to any tax increases. Despite these seemingly contradictory stances, word from DC is that these talks are proceeding nicely and a final deal is slowly taking shape. How is this possible?
Monday, June 20, 2011 at 12:30 PM
Week of June 20, 2011
By Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 12:30PM
Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 12:30PM Every week, we list our recommendations of new music, books, comics, movies and TV to check out. This is Recs in Effect:
Slim pickins this week, y'all...
New Book
I'm a huge fan of Gallery 1988's Crazy 4 Cult series and have bought a handful of pieces and prints from the shows. The combination of brilliant talent, unique visions and beloved films makes it an easy sell for me. Many of these pieces are being collected for this book and I would highly recommend picking it up.
Monday, June 20, 2011 at 11:45 AM
Great Commencement Speech or GREATEST Commencement Speech?
By Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 11:45AM
Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 11:45AM Stephen Colbert gives the 2011 Commencement Speech at his alma mater, Northwestern University
Monday, June 20, 2011 at 11:00 AM
Verbiage - June 20, 2011
By Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 11:00AM
Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 11:00AM Today's word of the day is Impetuous:
Via 4GIFs
im·pet·u·ous
[im-pech-oo-uhs]–adjective
- of, pertaining to, or characterized by sudden or rash action, emotion, etc.; impulsive: an impetuous decision; an impetuous person.
- having great impetus; moving with great force; violent: the impetuous winds.
Monday, June 20, 2011 at 9:30 AM
Oh STFU, Chris Wallace
By Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 9:30AM
Rob Dean On Monday, June 20, 2011 at 9:30AM Ya just got schooled...Stewart-style!
(via Huffington Post)
Friday, June 17, 2011 at 5:00 PM
Zelda Convention - June 17, 2011
By Rob Dean On Friday, June 17, 2011 at 5:00PM
Rob Dean On Friday, June 17, 2011 at 5:00PM 