Today's word of the day is Undulate:

There is no context that would make this clip make any more sense or be any less awful.

Via ComicsAlliance

...actually I try really hard.

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Why is it we don't always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?

- Steve Martin

...that are not so awesome as adults:

Happy Meal Toys

Remember how exciting this used to be? You beg and plead your mother and fathers to take you for greasy, sugary, fatty, delicious fast food so you can be rewarded with the coolest little plastic trinket this side of type two diabetes.  Stuck in between limply fried potatoes and battered chicken briquettes were individually wrapped emblems of hope and childhood, hermetically sealed promises of hours of play and happiness. While recently cleaning out my basement, however, I stumbled upon one of these lost relics of youth. It looked like this.

Wait a minute … what? Is that? … Is that a fork? A trident? Satan’s chosen weapon/accessory? Nope. It’s a gardening tool.  A miniature, flimsily constructed trowel and pitchfork that would be helpful only if you had the hands of a remarkably dexterous two-year old and had planted a garden made of yogurt. And the damn little toy was broken. Still in the bag, and broken, one of the tines having snapped off during all those years of incredibly strenuous storage. Way to ruin my dreams, Hamburglar, and be a cheap-ass to boot.

Sugar Cereals

Disclaimer 1: I am coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs and always will be. Chocolate milk and jet-puffed balls of cookie-like substance breakfast is pretty much my dream of dreams (a.k.a. liquid Oreos. Make it happen, Nabisco). Amazing.

Disclaimer dos: I was not allowed very many cereals as a child, so my lonely walk of longing down Aisle 7 was punctuated with a lot of angst and drooling. What cereals were allowed in my house? Cheerios, Shredded Wheat and Cracklin’ Oat Bran. I was a very regular child.

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Sincerely,

Rob Dean

People, we need to talk. As a society we've done a great many remarkable things: Thrown monkeys into outer space. Made a highly profitable industry out of managing and treating (but not curing) life-destroying maladies. Invented global communication infrastructures and complex technologies to support our need for sexting and porn.

But sometimes we fail to acknowledge when we're falling short in an area. That decline rapidly degenerates until mere anarchy is loosed on the world and then we are in a quagmire so intractable that it seems like the preferable solution is to embrace the imminent demise of our entire social fabric.

But I say nay! I will not go gentle into that good night - I will rage against the dying of the light! (I just made that up) I will stand and draw a line and say I will brook no further offenses. This is the point in history where we changed everything. This is the time in our society where we stopped the descent and made life good again. This is the time that we created universally agreed-upon standards of conduct for men's bathrooms.

Please note: these rules only apply to communal bathrooms (where-in 2 or more people can use the facilities at the same time) and only to men's bathrooms. I have no idea what goes in the ladies' room, but I assume it's a complete horrorshow - like Apocalypse Now but with linoleum.

No Talking

I know, it's cliche and hackneyed - but it's really true. No talking in the bathroom. Unless you're passing along vital information - then you don't need to communicate anything else. Everything else you have to say is completely inconsequential. Let's put it this way: if you are in a meeting at work, will you ever say "Hey Bill, remember what we were talking about in the bathroom? Well, I ran the numbers..." No, of course you won't. Communication will consist solely of acknowledging that you are both people - a head nod, awkward smile, muffled "sup?" will all suffice. Do not tell me a story, do not try to wow me with your hilarity, do not engage me when my genitals are exposed to the world at large.

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Today's word of the day is Desultory:

Via Reddit

des·ul·to·ry

[des-uhl-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee] 

Just like the old man in that book by Nabokov...

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I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

- Ian Fleming

Well, what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa.
That's the kind of spirit that I have, too.

- Michele Bachmann

Clowns can get away with murder.

- John Wayne Gacy

(Context)

Double Dip Demands is a column in which I propose films that deserve a re-release on DVD/Blu-Ray with more special features, better transfers and other nerdy bits. Some of the films have no DVDs out there for Region 1 viewers, and some of them have a really crappy version that's bare bones or poorly put together. Who speaks for these films? I do.

The Film: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (2004 UK TV series)

Cast & Crew: Matthew Holness (Creator/Writer/Actor), Richard Ayoade (Creator/Writer/Actor); Matt Berry, Alice Lowe

Plot Synopsis (via IMDB): This spoof TV series is an unearthed 80's horror TV show, complete with poor production values, awful dialogue and hilarious violence. The series is set in a Hospital in Romford, which is situated over the gates of Hell.

Is it Currently Out? Yes/No. It is available in UK with an extras-packed disc, but is not available for Region 1 players (i.e., Amurrica)

Why Does it Deserve Special Features? Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is a brilliant satire series that mocks 80s cheesy action TV series, pompous pulp writers, bad genre television and the self-importance inherent in revisiting old works. Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade - who created and wrote the series in addition to appearing as Garth Marenghi/Dr. Rick Dagless and Dean Learner/Thornton Reed, respectively - have a perfect understanding of the multiple genres in their sights and do a good job of adhering to the rules and limitations of them. Then, in addition to mocking the shows and their cheesy budgets/poorly realized scripts, Holness and Ayoade throw in several metatextual elements with the multiple layers of characters playing characters (badly). It's a hilarious and utterly singular show that is occasionally seen on [adult swim] (in fact, I think it'll be on the [adult swim] schedule this July). As the series is over with these 6 episodes, and since all involved have proven their abilities in creating this many layered universe - and their success in other ventures like The IT Crowd, The Mighty Boosh, Submarine, etc. - it would be worthwhile to get these brilliant comedians back together for one more go at this cult show.

What Should Be on the Disc?

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Today's word of the day is Subterfuge:

Via Senor Gif