Best version of national anthem. There is no debate:

You know...for the kids!

A Mosquito. My Libido?

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I'm full of hard times today

- Daniel Handler

First of all - America is the greatest, freest, fittest, smartest, prettiest, sexiest, sweetest, funniest, nicest, swankiest, toughest nation in the world. And if you don't like it - you can GET OUT.

Secondly - we have a lot of problems. there's a lot wrong with the greatest, freest, fittest, smartest, prettiest, sexiest, sweetest, funniest, nicest, swankiest, toughest nation in the world.

But one thing we do very well? Humor. And nothing is quite so funny as our own history, our own screwed up nation and a man getting kicked in the groin. That's just science.

Here are 7 hilarious patriotic videos that focus on our nation's younger days:

7)  The Whitest Kids U'Know, Jack & Oswald

My favorite part? "You have a flag! That's very nice." Some of the jokes land flat...but then the music picks up...

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Keith Doughty discusses songs, albums and artists that are unappreciated, unknown, and/or unfairly-maligned by the general public. This is Hidden Tracks.

Radiohead - "Cuttooth"

I don't know why I feel so tongue-tied;
I don't know why I feel so skinned alive.

While not as currently popular as they were in the late 1990s/early 00s heyday, Radiohead is still one of the biggest bands in the world. They are clearly not unappreciated nor are they unknown. Yet there is still a wealth of good-to-great Radiohead material that the average listener doesn’t know about. Like many bands, Radiohead frequently releases completed songs that didn’t make the final cut of their albums as b-sides on EPs and singles. However, unlike many bands, Radiohead’s b-sides can actually be quite good. This is particularly true of the b-sides off of OK Computer and Amnesiac. Clearly, Radiohead was in peak form during this time period because many of these b-sides hold their own against the album tracks.

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(via Let's Be Friends Again)

Today is the Day of THE PACT! As per Let's Be Friends Again instructions, go to a Dunkin Donuts location near you. Order a Captain America donut (it's a star-shaped jelly donut with sprinkles and vanilla frosting. It's not bad but...it's not good either).

Take a picture of you with your fine pastry, holding it aloft as a testament to all who came before you. It'll shine like a diabetic beacon honoring the sacrifices that brave men and women have made to ensure our freedom. The star-spangled confectionary will be a sweet note of gratitude to this great experiment we call America.

Then, after the picture thing, post it on the Twitter or Let's Be Friends Again comments or on their Facebook page. The hashtag for Twitter is #ThePact and be sure to include @LBFAinc and @neuroticmonkey.

Or you can not do any of this...but then the terrorists, communists, nazis and super scientists dedicated to an ethnically pure world will have won.

USA! USA! USA!

Today's word of the day is Consensus:

 Via Pleated Jeans

con·sen·sus

[kuhn-sen-suhs] 

From GYMKATA!

(via Let's Be Friends Again)

Dracula! Dracula! Schedule?

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Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.

- Chuck Klosterman

From Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal:

Horror films are the basis for my love of movies.

Firstly, as verboten pieces of art that I was discouraged from viewing as a child because they would give me nightmares or because they were 'trash,' horror films transformed from merely objects of entertainment into forbidden slices of escapism that I needed to learn about, watch, experience and absorb. Horror movies were something secretive that held power over others (particularly authority figures) and yet were looked down on and derided as filth. This dichotomy spurred me to learn more about each of the films, watch more of them and, in turn, learn more about film in general. In an effort to claim some of that power or unravel that mystery, I exposed myself to hours and hours of film, I had no choice but to fall in love with the medium.

Secondly, within the broad genre of horror, films run a large gamut of subgenres and sub-classifications: comedies, science fiction, trash, action, social/political commentary, exploitative. There's no "one type of horror film" - there are schools of thought and approaches but no unifying element that makes something a horror film. Horror movies can be scary, or gross, or gory, or funny, or sexy or chilling or all of the above. Horror movies tend to hinge on tone, an intangible element that tends to be signature of the auteur/director behind the film. Even if films share the same general plot points, it's the injection of tone and realization of the filmmakers' vision that defines each movie. So while consuming all of these horror movies, growing to love film, I also began to understand the subtle (and not so subtle) differences between genres, tones and executions of material.

Thirdly, watching mass quantities of horror movies leads to appreciating good elements of movies, if only to preserve one's sanity. Maybe Hell Comes to Frogtown is a crap film (it is), but you can appreciate the humor of the Lady Frog trying to sex "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Or maybe The Quest (a/k/a Frog Dreaming) is a terrible movie (it is), but it has haunting shots and scenes that have stayed with me for multiple decades. The gore effects of Nightmare on Elm Street IV: The Dream Master, the quips of Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives, the badassery of Phantasm II, the creature design of Nightbreed - every film, no matter its overall merits, has at least one element or scene that is appealing and well done. Even if, during those awkward pubescent years, those elements tend to be boob-related. Horror movie fans can sift through hours of crap to find something that made those hours worthwhile. And if a film has more than 1 or 2 elements that are good? An interesting score AND amazing tits? Well then the road to understanding what makes a good film (outside of aforementioned tits) begins as disparate pieces come together to make a strong, unified whole that is then spread through proselytizing to other nerds. "You haven't seen Evil Dead II? Oh we are having a sleepover and watching that RIGHT NOW!"

There are other examples of how horror movies play such pivotal roles in the formation of film freaks, many of them covered in this piece by Devin Faraci, but the point is that for such an easily vilified, belittled and ghettoized genre - horror films can serve as introduction to a love of cinema due to its broad range and malleability. Which brings us to today's film, 2007's Murder Party, written and directed by Jeremy Saulnier, a dark comic Halloween film that is as steeped in film geekery as it is in obscurity.

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Matt Mulholland dubs over the iconic lobby shoot-em-up scene from The Matrix, replacing sound effects and Propellerheads score with his own mouth. What does this mean for you, the viewer? Lots of "pewpew"-ing.

(Via The Daily What Geeks)