Choose Your Adventure!

 

The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.

 

 

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Mass Distraction

Monkey See...

 

Deep Red

Monkey See (on TV)...


Childrens Hospital - On Adult Swim

 

Goonies the Musical!

 

Sloth's Song

Goonies the Musical!

 

Takin' It Back

Goonies the Musical!

 

Piano Lessons

Goonies the Musical!

 

Tubes

 

Entries in Morning Awkwardness (47)

King...Partyman? The Hell?

How have I never seen this video before? "Batdance," sure, I'm familiar with "Batdance." But "Partyman" by Prince for 1989's Batman? Hooooooly crap. I actually really like this song and as a youth was obsessed with whether or not Prince says "the funkiest man" or "the fuckingest man." I know the latter choice doesn't make sense, but profanity is a mystery in the magical eyes of a child.

Simon Says "PAY YOUR GODDAMN TAXES!"

(Via FilmDrunk)

True story: after a night of reverie in the town of Philadelphia, I pretty much broke down and summarized Demolition Man for my friends, scene by scene - from opening to closing credits. I have no idea why I know this movie so well, but if there is ever any cause for someone that knows a ridiculous amount of useless info about Demolition Man - you know where to find me.

 

Gotta Hand It to Her...

 

hiyo?

Bijou Philips stars in Claire Edmondson's music video for Broken Social Scene's "Sweetest Kill" off their Forgiveness Rock Record.

(via Badass Digest)

...Maybe More Than a Little.

From GYMKATA!

So Many Offended Cultures, So Little Time

There is no context that would make this clip make any more sense or be any less awful.

Junkbag!

Gettin' a Little Dusty In Here...

(the song playing towards the end is "Thank You Mario But Our Princess is in Another Castle" by The Mountain Goats & Kaki King)

Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs - They Callin' Again.

Pretty Dang Brilliant Spinoff of My Drunk Kitchen: My Hungover Kitchen

(I kind of love this soooo much you guys)

Episode 1 - The French Toastening:

(episode 2 is after the jump)

Click to read more ...

Dreams Come True...Slowly

Enthusiasts Anonymous

Get your swag on with your bag on! Check out Passion Pit's "Little Secrets":

I'm SO AWKWARD!!!

This is a true story that happened to me:

I Skate for Me! FOR MEEEEE!

When I saw this footage, all I could think of was David Cross's bit about Gabriel, the defiantly patriotic rollerblader who took to the empty streets on September 12, 2001. So I made this video combining the footage with the most patriotic song ever:

Oh STFU, Chris Wallace

Ya just got schooled...Stewart-style!

(via Huffington Post)

Um, Neither Eats a Pig?

L'chaim, Everlast! Here's a Klezmer/House of Pain mashup by DJ FAROFF: