Your burningest questions answered! (hint: use a soothing balm)

If I could shape-shift, should I shift into a cheetah or leopard?

Well, that all depends. Cheetahs are capable of bursts of incredible speed, but can only perform said burst once every few hours. If you were looking to use your shape shifting abilities for a purpose, like say, challenging Jackie Joyner-Kersee to a duel of swiftness, then I’d say cheetah for sure. Leopards, on the other hand, are solid hunters and a lot less fragile than their equally as bespeckled counterparts. In a head-to-head battle, a leopard could probably beat a cheetah, but only if it could catch it. Toss up!

If you are thinking of shape-shifting into a baby cheetah or leopard (is that even feasible according to the rules of Einsteinian physics?), I would go for leopard, without question. The reason being that I could then take you home and cuddle you for hours because you are the cutest thing I have ever seen.  

Just please don’t shape-shift back. I don’t know what you look like, I don’t react well to strangers and I highly doubt the miniature set of footed pajamas I plan on putting the cub in would fit you.

My boyfriend just told me he is into water sports. How should I deal with that?

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