Choose Your Adventure!

 

The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.

 

 

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    Mass Distraction

    Monkey See...

     

    Deep Red

    Monkey See (on TV)...


    Childrens Hospital - On Adult Swim

     

    Goonies the Musical!

     

    Sloth's Song

    Goonies the Musical!

     

    Takin' It Back

    Goonies the Musical!

     

    Piano Lessons

    Goonies the Musical!

     

    Tubes

     

    Entries in Gargamel (1)

    Snorks vs. Smurfs

    Fisticuffs is when you tell me who would win in a knockdown, dragout, physical fight to the death between two people or groups.

    The 80s Cartoon Throwdown You've Been Thinking About for 20 years. Who would win in a knockdown, drag out, no holds barred fight between the Smurfs and the Snorks?

    Smurfs have the numbers and appear to be embedded, like an azure version of the VietCong. They have managed to evade genocidal attempts of eradication at the hands of Gargamel and his cat, Azrael. So they are tough, hive-minded and have huge numbers on their side. On the other hand, they are Belgian.

    Snorks have tactical advantage of being underwater, remote and more technologically advanced than the hillbilly Smurfs. They have managed to evade creating any main enemies despite being around since at least the 17th century (seriously - the wiki entry has them going to the surface in 1634 to rescue a sea captain). It's unknown how many Snorks there are - so the numbers game is hard to figure out. The Snorks' main weak spot is their obvious, incredibly vulnerable snorkel.

    Who would win? Vote! Explain your vote in the comments!