Music Memory Mondays: Radiohead, "True Love Waits"
Song: "True Love Waits" by Radiohead
Event: College. Yes, ALL of college.
"True Love Waits" was the perennial b-side for Radiohead fans. Performed live for many years, the achingly depressing song of a misspent existence wouldn't be officially released until the I Might Be Wrong: Live Recordings EP in 2001. (Yes, nerds - it was available on various bonus discs in various other countries, but you know the point I'm trying to make) The song tends to be performed acoustically (as above) and is a much more stripped down number without all of the various production trickeries of Jonny Greenwood that Radiohead has employed since 1995's The Bends.
And when I hear the song, besides noting how heartbreakingly sad and perfect it is, I think of days full of naps, marijuana smoke, bullshit conversations and extensive philosophy readings. In short, I think of college.
The song reminds me of college on a few levels. Firstly, Vassar College (my alma mater) was where I first heard of "True Love Waits." I was a Radiohead fan who had enjoyed their last album immensely, and was looking forward to (while being completely unprepared for) the new albums Kid A/Amnesiac. And, as things happen in college, eventually you find people who have the same interest as you - only more so. You say you like Star Wars? Well, have you ever read the original Joseph Campbell essay on the hero's journey that inspired George Lucas? Or you enjoy Phish? Check out this totally rare live recording of Trey Anastasio throwing up in Japan from two years ago. It's a weird group of nerds that come together, not necessarily to one-up each other, but to continue spreading the virus of nerddom. And so, "True Love Waits" was one of those "you haven't heard this?" moments where people would whisper in astonished, hallowed voices and geek out at the prospect of sharing something undiscovered with a fellow fan. I guess it's a chance to show off one's own knowledge while vicariously experiencing the new and the awesome through the eyes of the unexposed.
Another way that "True Love Waits" reminds me of college is that junior year was spent hearing someone practice this song ad nauseam on his acoustic guitar. [Sidenote: Happy Birthday, Jay!] Hours and hours would be spent listening to him pluck away on his guitar, carefully wailing out the lyrics with his eyes closed in a testament to his own sincerity. Which is also such an ingrained part of my college experience: those weird moments of sincerity, of chasing The Real (as Passing Strange refers to it) and seeming like you "get it." Doesn't matter what you're supposed to get - class warfare, the Uncertainty Principle, how it feels to be a woman in a man's world - all that matters is that you get it. You understand it on a much deeper level than others do.
And so we all find ways to uniquely express our own profundity and complexity - the hidden depths that exist in all of us that you don't see when you're playing beer pong or falling asleep in class. College was a chance at not only discovering those depths, but proudly displaying them for others - sometimes to disasterous results and sometimes to find that people embrace you for your weirdness.
And so, whenever I chance upon "True Love Waits" on my iPod, I remember all of the unnecessary drama, the exhilarating moments of discovery, the communal boredom and cynicism, the drunken revery and regrets, and those moments before we were loosed upon the world when we had the chance to look at ourselves and sing out.
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