The Dream Players

Readers of this column may have picked up that I am prone to nightmares.

I recently had a dream in which my sister had joined a dangerous cult.  I don’t actually have a sister, but in my dream I was quite upset to learn that she had fallen in with this crowd.

She and her new family were trying to indoctrinate me.

The cult was founded upon a fanatic (but vaguely defined) conviction regarding the true purposes of our internal organs.  New members had to renounce the heretical ways in which they had used their organs so far, and promise to do better in the future.

And if an inductee hadn’t already had his appendix removed, he was to lose it on a sacrificial-looking altar, without the benefit of anesthesia.

In real life, I have already had my appendix removed.  In my dream, it turned out I still had three appendices left in me.  One of them would have to be gotten at through my genitals.