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The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.

 

 

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Recommend The Things in My Apartment: Week Two (Email)

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My Soul

Three weeks into my career as a concierge, my soul stopped coming with me to work.  This made things easier on the job, but it’s put a strain on my home life.

If I ever want to do anything after work, I have to go back to the apartment first and convince my soul to come with me.  There have been lots of arguments.

“Why do you need me to come?” my soul will say.  “Clearly I’m just holding you back.”

When my soul first separated from my body in protest, it looked a lot like me, only nobler.  But at some point, my soul turned into a beautiful young woman who stares at me with angry, betrayed blue eyes.


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