Movies are baffling. Sometimes they are good. Sometimes they are less than good. And sometimes, in those less than good movies, lie some exquisite gems. Today's list are the 12 great - genuinely great, not in an ironic way - musical performances from some less than good movies. The rest of the movie was shite, but for these few glorious beats it was a promising world indeed.
Filled with good choreography, some catchy tunes and people very much committing to the spectacle in an otherwise unremarkable film - these performances deserve some recognition and love.
12. "Prom Tonight" from Not Another Teen Movie
Actually, this movie isn't that bad. It's not good, so it fits in with the defined parameters, but it definitely has a lot of good moments and makes some nice observations about teen movies. Although I fear it's easily lumped in with Epic Movie, Date Movie, Superhero Movie, etc. but it actually has a plot and jokes and not just an ADHD level of references strung together.
11. "Sweet Child O'Mine" from Step Brothers
Step Brothers has developed a bit of a cult following - but I'm not quite sure why. I don't think it's as strong as the other McKay/Ferrell films (okay, it's better than The Other Guys). But this scene is not just a great rendition of "Sweet Child O'Mine," but uniquely converts it into acapella form and then sprinkles that in with great child performances and Adam Scott being a dick. Fun!
10. "Move This" from Let's Go to Prison
Here's the thing about Let's Go to Prison: I kind of like it. Admittedly, my expectations were ground floor following the public shaming the film received at the hands of critics. But, when it's not making yet another prison rape joke or limply trying to comment on something, there are some very clever moments in this film. One of the best running gags is that Will Arnett's character loves the song "Move This" by Technotronic and the end credits roll with the three main characters rocking out to it together. My favorite parts: Arnett who loves the song but doesn't know all the words; Dax Shephard subtly singing along and pretending like he doesn't know the words; and Chi McBride just getting down in the middle seat.
09. "Somebody Kill Me" from The Wedding Singer
It's a fun little ditty with a great Jon Lovitz button. But it sounds absolutely nothing like something The Cure would've made in the 80s. Yeah, it's dark and sad and filled with impotent rage - but Robert Smith wouldn't cuss someone out like that or scream so much. Just sayin'.
08. "Cancion del Mariachi" from Desperado
Oh Robert Rodriguez. So stylish. So enthusiastic and energetic. So....middle of the road. Banderas walking in front of the light bulbs with his bandmates is a great shot, though. Rodriguez should really make a musical - it'd be perfect for him: all spectacle, no thought, plus he likes writing music. MISS BRANT - GET RODRIGUEZ ON THE PHONE!
07. "Por Ti Volare" from Step Brothers
Yes another clip from Step Brothers and it's probably the best known part of the movie. I always thought the song was "Con Te Partiro" but apparently there's another one just like it that's less of a downer...or something. Boats and Hoes forever, guys; boats and hoes forever.
06. "Zydrate Anatomy" from Repo! The Genetic Opera
Repo - Clip Zydrate Anatomy by ohmygore
This movie...is just a mess. Look, any flick that has a character call Paris Hilton a whore in front of a large group of people is doing the Lord's work. And then Hilton's character literally loses her face? Well done, sirs. But man...this film feels like what would happen if a theater geek took a shit ton of shrooms and then got locked in a Hot Topic over the weekend. The song "At the Opera Tonight" from Repo! the Genetic Opera is arguably better than this one. But "Zydrate Anatomy" has more of Paris singing, plus bloody sex and I think the back and forth is much catchier than the constant exposition in "At the Opera Tonight." Also, I feel like the greek chorus of hookers is mocking the lead chick (played by Alexa Vega, the girl from Spy Kids).
05. "Groovy Time for a Movie Time/Cut You Up With a Linoleum Knife" from Aqua Teen Hungerforce Colon Movie Film for Theaters
This needs to be played before every movie. Plus it was the first time I heard the great metal band Mastodon. Also, the Icecaps box with the derp eyes? Nice touch.
04. "Nowhere Fast" from Streets of Fire
Young Diane Lane. Wowza. Young Willem Dafoe? Less wowza.
03. "How to Be a Master" from The Apple
This biblical allegory about the future of music, the fall of man and something called BIM is one of those singular Canadian exports that could have only come from Golan/Globus at The Cannon Group in the 80s.
02. "Relax" from Body Double
This is a legitimate scene in a legitimate film by a legitimate director (Brian de Palma). It's also supposed to be a scene in a hardcore porno movie - you know, just like how most pornos use long tracking shots and have interminable music performances in them. Still, thank god for De Palma's insanity, because it brings us this great scene with Frankie Goes to Hollywood hamming it up more than the fake pornstar extras.
01. "All These Things That I've Done" from Southland Tales
No matter what people thought of Southland Tales, pretty much everyone singled out this scene for being just a great little diversion into the sublimely odd, imaginative and energetic. I have to agree with that. I know it's not technically a live musical performance in the film, but it's such a great sequence that I really don't care.
What'd I miss? What'd I get wrong? Let me know in the comments...