Annie, are you okay? CAN YOU TELL US? ARE YOU OKAY?
- Last Time I Saw a Dump on the Internet Like This, It Required Two Girls, a Cup and Week's Worth of Nightmares: So everyone hated The Killing finale. No really - everyone hated it. I don't know how it compares to the Danish version, but here in Amurrica - we haaaaaaaated it. What's made it even worse is that in shitting on the finale, people are also pointing out how craptastic the rest of the series has been. In fact, people hated the series so much, their expectations were ridiculously low going into this finale (just wrap up a plotline, any plotline) and the finale STILL FUCKED IT UP. All this rage has led to one website: Fuck The Killing. AMC - you're 2 for 5. Not the best batting average...I think. I don't know sportsball terms. I tweeted it before and I'll say it again: AMC, just pick up Terriers. Critics love the show, they'll love you again for rescuing it, people will enjoy a little sun with their grittiness (as Breaking Bad has proven) and it'll offset the dismal flameouts of Rubicon, The Walking Dead and The Killing. You're welcome.
- Reward The One Good Thing to Come Out of AMC's Walking Dead: This campaign started by Slither/Super director James Gunn to get Michael FUCKING Rooker an Emmy for his work on The Walking Dead is...pretty awesome. Let's make it happen, people!
- Nothing Quells Anger Like Alison Brie. That's Just Science: Alison Brie kinda sorta date raped her gay guy friend. But in a hilarious and adorable way. And it involved way more fluids than either imagined. But seriously, Ms. Brie: we get it. We all love you. We are powerless to resist. Now go on with your weird, terrifying, funny, awkward erotica...
- In the Updated Version, Lebron Takes on the Cloverfield Monster: I'm on record as loving everything about the weird 90s Nike ad campaign that featured Charles Barkley taking on Godzilla. This video supports my undying devotion:
- Make No Mistake About It - Kids Were Stupid in the 1960s: Not just with the whole "duck and cover" thing, or the whole "really, we're debating civil rights?" stuff. But mainly for thinking that Spider-Man cartoon was well drawn. 60s Spider-Man meme reveals the folly of that notion...
- ...And Adults Are Even Dumber Now: Perfectly timed photos is basically what would happen if Michel Gondry and LOLcats mated. But less French.
- You Can Make 3 Transformers, But You Can't Spot Me One Sequel?!?: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon is a really good horror movie that's clever and well executed. Please join me in helping the filmmakers crowdsource financing for the sequel. I'll be your best friend!
- Oh You Musicians and Your Complicated Shoes!: Here's the web exclusive performance of "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver from Monday's The Colbert Report. It's a really great version of the pretty awesome song. Also, I learned I've been saying "Bon Iver" wrong now for about a year. Knowledge is Power!